Have you ever pretended to be someone that you weren't for love, to be accepted or to fit in? You are not alone. We all have at some point or another.
There is a deep need in our nervous system to be accepted by others. This was especially useful in the caveman days where people would hunt for food in groups, where it took a village to raise a family and where there was safety in numbers. Back in those times, if you were isolated from the group, you would not survive for long. The need to belong to a tribe or a community was paramount for basic survival.
These days, we will not be getting attacked by lions or saber tooth tigers but the need to belong is still there. It is so ingrained that a lot of us would change who we are in order to fit in or be accepted. The danger in this is that we all become alike. We lose our uniqueness and the special gifts and talents that made us who were are.
So, how do we reclaim our authentic self without guilt, blame or shame?
The first step is to be aware of when you are pretending or acting like someone you are not. Notice when you agree with others even if you don’t have the same opinion as they do. Observe when you hold back your voice and don’t say what’s on your mind. Where does the tension show up in your body?
Acknowledge and catch yourself when you aren’t being you. Look at some of the common patterns of past events in your life. When you were in that bad relationship for too long, when you didn’t look after your finances, when you let your health slide. Notice when you have bartered different parts of yourself away for love, power, and acceptance. Acknowledge when you have sold your authentic voice and your truth.
The common pattern in all your past experiences...is you. Once you know and accept this, then you can create change.
Accept that until now, you’ve been pretending to be someone else, even if you aren’t conscious about it. Commit to being more than who you’ve been. Once acceptance has occurred, take action.
Need help with any of these steps, you can download Dr. Amanda’s free guide to go from surviving to thriving. www. neuro-optimization.com/gift
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.