What comes to mind when someone brings up finances? Do you get really excited and want to talk about your investment portfolio and different income streams or does it make you want to stick your head into the sand? Feelings and thoughts surrounding money are often linked to our childhood when we observed others handle their finances.
Were your parents spenders or savers? How about you? Are your financial patterns the same or entirely opposite of your parents? Some people have the exact spending habits as their others while others, if they felt restricted or are more rebellious, will have the opposite.
When growing up, did you hear the expressions: money doesn’t grow on trees, I’m not made of money, etc? If you did, you probably have some blocks surrounding money.
How do you know if you have blocks?
Some obvious signs:
Here are some less obvious ways:
While some of the above statements may hold some element of truth, keep an eye on how often you say it when money is involved.
Spend some time observing your thoughts whenever you hear a story surrounding money. If you find out, ask if it’s your thought or something you learned from someone else.
For more about your emotional money blocks, come to one of our complimentary advanced workshops.
Have you ever worked very hard only to lose everything that you’ve worked for and to start all over again? I have.
Years ago, I had invested a lot of my time and energy into building a chiropractic practice from scratch. I had made it a central focus in my life and as such, gave up time with my family, friends, hobbies and travelling….all things I loved to do and am passionate about. Then one day, it all disappeared in one fell swoop. I lost it all and I was in shock.
I spent a week moping and wondering how I got myself into this situation and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At the same time, I reached out and reconnected with friends and family and found out how much I had missed them. I had pushed them aside for business and in the end, they saved me. They picked me up, brushed me off and sent me back out into the world.
Within 1 month, I had found a new home for my practice, at the Hampton Wellness Centre and I’ve been here happily since. I had the opportunity to re-start my practice but this time with new protoiries. I took my first vacation in 5 years and went to visit my family in Malaysia to rediscover who I was. I started to read again, exercise and spent time with friends. I even picked up meditation.
Sometimes, unexpected blessings occur. It might not seem that way at the time, but afterwards, I am grateful it happened. Starting over again is an opportunity. It allows you to examine your current life to see if it’s on track with who you are. If it isn’t, you get the chance to correct.
Fully feel all the unexpected blessings that come your way and remember to enjoy the journey.
Below is a poem that helped me get through the tough times.
If by Ruyand Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Do you ever wonder why you get frustrated at another person? It could happen with strangers and more often, loved ones. We tell the people close to us that we care about them one minute and the next, we’re yelling at them. How can this be?
If you’re upset about something, it means you have a rule that got broken. It could be a rule for your spouse, child, husband, finances, relationships, etc.
Rules are often learned through childhood from our parents, teachers, and the culture we grow up in. We learn rules for being good, bad, and cultural norms and expectations. After learning these rules, they get ingrained into our nervous system and we don’t think about them again. However, they lurk behind our anger until we examine them.
What are some examples of rules that we are unaware of? Imagine standing at the grocery store line up. If there are 2 people in front of you, you may decide to wait in line. If there are 3, suddenly, you think there are too many people and you wonder why the store can’t open up more lanes. You may even get frustrated that the cashier isn’t going fast enough. Where did this rule come from?
At home, you may have grown up in a household where your mother stayed at home to help out with the household and children while you father went to work. You may have learned through that experience that certain tasks are performed by one person while others by the other. Now, what happens if you are in a relationship with someone who grew up in a household where both parents were working out of the house and both parents did the cooking and cleaning. You would learn a different set of rules. When these two people get together, they may have different expectations which may lead to anger and frustration.
What if you were interacting with a co-worker who grew up on the other side of the world? In the North American culture, it is considered rude to slurp your soup, however in the Far East, slurping your soup indicates that you had a delicious meal.
When you get upset, get curious with yourself. Ask, what rule has been broken. Then, examine your rule. Does it still continue to serve you. If yes, keep the rule, if not, get rid of it. When you argue with your spouse, check to see if you both have different rules about the same thing.
For more info about knowing your rules and what to do with them, come to our next advanced workshop.
This blog was inspired by one of my dear friends, who is an example of someone who continues to pursue her dreams.
Somewhere along our conversation last week, we got to talking about the ability to stay focused on our goals. How is it that at times in our lives, we get inspired by an idea, get excited, laser focused to start taking action….then later on, we start to lose focus on that same goal? Sometimes we even take a break and go back to our goal again at a later day and other times, we quit.
How do you refocus again after you have stopped? You clean your windshield!
When your windshield is clean, you can see far ahead where you are going. You have a clear destination and just have to keep your foot on the gas and steer in the the direction you want to go. Now sometimes, bugs, mud, snow, etc hit your car and the windshield starts to get dirty. This can either happen slowly at first i.e. hitting bugs while driving far distances. Other times, it’s a snowstorm. Whatever the case, if you don’t clean your windshield, you can no longer see and you could get into an accident.
It can be hard to spot if it happens slowly. Life gets busy and after 1 month of exercising or eating well, we decide to skip a workout or eat junk because we feel we deserve it and 1 week later, we’re back to our old habits. It’s ok, it happens. Just, clean your windshield!
Focus on your goals by routinely “cleaning” your windshield off.
Reconnect to your goals and remember what first inspired you to want to reach for them. Look at the road ahead and enjoy the journey, after all, it’s not about the destination. It’s the sites you saw, the people you drove with, the lessons learned and the fun you had along the way.
Want to release the tension in your body so you can refocus on your goals and dreams? Make your appointment today! 613-761-1600
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.