Last week I was watching my son play with his toy cars on a coffee table. He dropped one of his cars and it fell under the table and out of his reach. He tried to get it but his arms were not long enough and he started to cry. I then told him to “go around” and then you can get your car as the toy was easier to reach from the other side of the table.
I went back to cooking and looked up again when I heard more crying. He was crouched down in the same place he was before and still trying to reach his toy. I then said, I thought I told you to go around to get your toy...so he walks around the entire table right back to the exact same spot where he started! He had just gone around in a circle...poor kid.
I smiled and took his hand and we walked to the other side of the table and got his toy.
This was a reminder of how easy it is to be misunderstood.
We experience events in our lives from our point of view. Even if someone says the same thing to 2 people, they can take it to mean very different things. Before you get in an argument with someone over something that was said, remember to clarify what you meant.
Need some help? 613-446-6060
I’ve heard the saying often and even experienced it myself on several occasions: you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone. Because I know this to be true, I want to make sure that I’m enjoying life’s daily moments. Sometimes, when you find yourself in the middle of a project or a journey, it's hard to stop and appreciate where you are now when you feel you have so much more to go.
So, how do you make sure you are enjoying life’s moments?
For me, when I’m writing in my journal, I make sure to note 3 specials moments in my day. They could be moments about my family, friends, nature, work, someone I helped, etc. Anything that I take note of on a day.
For today, my focus was on my family. My special moment with my daughter was when she had her little fingers wrapped around one of my hands while I was nursing her. My son’s moment was when we were walking home from the park and he was holding hands with my husband and I. For my hubby, our special moment was meditating together.
We often live our life thinking that things will be better when….when the kids are older, when I’m married, when I retire, when I get a raise, when I have more money, when I have more time, etc etc. Appreciate life’s perfect moments in the day and you won’t be living for a future life.
Find out what’s important to you: your family, friends, making a difference, your purpose...and find ways to appreciate them before they are gone. One day, we will all be gone.
Need help appreciating the moment? 613-446-6060
When faced with doing something that scares you, whether that be public speaking, running a marathon, starting a new venture, etc, you need to summon courage.
One way to help motivate you, is to make a list of your “why” or your reason for doing what you want to do.
What is your why? Your “why” is/are the reasons that you get up each morning and live your life. They are your children, your partner, your goals, your hopes and your dreams. When there is something that you don’t want to do out of fear or procrastination, you can remember what is important for you in your life.
This week, there were some phone calls that I was putting off making. What helped me to make them was to remember my children. One of my whys is to be a role model for them. If I did not lead by example and make those calls, how could I ask them to do something they didn’t want to do.
After reading my why’s and comparing what I had to do, I was able to easily finish my work.
When creating your ‘why’, remember to dream big. Maybe you are trying to quit smoking. Your why could be to live long enough to see your kids graduate. If you need to make a presentation at work, remember that your work pays you which allows you to go on vacations. Know why you are doing what you are doing.
Need help? Give us a call 613-446-6060
Last night, my newborn baby was having an unusually hard time falling asleep. After trying every trick I knew and then some, I was at my wit’s end with the crying. I found myself frustrated, tired and wanting to run away. Just when I had reached my breaking point, the little angel fell asleep.
What lessons did I learn?
When was the last time you were tested? How did you respond? Write your experience below.
Our families can be our teachers. Sometimes, we like what we see and we try to repeat what we were taught. What we see and don’t like, we can change in ourselves and the next generation after us. Other times, we pick things up unconsciously and don’t become aware that it becomes a part of us until later on.
Growing up, finances were always tight. My immigrant mother was a single mom, worked all day, went to school during the evenings and raised 2 kids without help as her family was on the other side of the world.
I learned so much from my mom and continue to do so today. What I wasn’t aware of was a pattern that I had learned through her.
A few nights ago, my partner and I were discussing finances. He was able to have a rational and calm discussion while I found myself getting irritated when he asked more in deapth questions or gave me suggestions on how to handle a situation. I had my way of handling a situation and wasn’t open to listening to his way, even though I could see the holes in my way. He noticed I was getting flustered and raising my voice and asked why.
I stepped away to get a drink of water and then became aware that I was having a stress, fight or flight response. I felt under attack in some way...even though the conversation was completely calm. I came back and apologised and listened to the other side.
It wasn’t until the next day while I was doing the dishes that it hit me. I was reacting to this situation like I had watched my mom do before! Groan...I was perpetuating the family pattern! I laughed once I realized this. It also allowed me to take a more balanced approach to things.
Next time you react to something, ask yourself. Where did I get this pattern from? Why am I reacting this way when there is no actual threat.
Need help observing your patterns? Give us a call. 613-446-6060
As many of your know, I recently gave birth. This was my second labour and after a long first labour, I was not looking forward to doing it again.
When I first started to feel the pain and discomfort of the contractions, I tensed my muscles and shortened my breath in anticipation of the pain. I even started to wish the contractions away (not conducive to giving birth). Deep, down, I knew that this was not the answer because, birth is not usually a quick process and the pain was going to get worse before it got better.
I knew I needed to change my current state so I called a friend of mine who is a doula. Her advice was to invite the pain. I was to picture each contraction as my body giving a hug to the baby. I was to use all the focus and attention that I could muster to fight the urge to tense and instead relax every muscle and allow my body to do what it naturally knew how to do. I was to stop fighting my body….easier said than done.
So, for each coming contraction, I focused on my breath. I focused on expelling out all the air that I could. I told my body to relax. I started with my toes and worked my way up to my face. To my surprise, the pain became more tolerable! It still hurt like crazy but I could do it.
I also noticed that when I was not prepared for a contraction, my instinct was to tense, fight my body and have my mind panic. This brought on more pain which then caused more tension in my body.
As the day continued and the pain got worse, I had to focus more and go internally. I talked to my baby during the birth, saying that we were going to do this together. I told her how excited everyone was to meet her. I surrendered to the pain and trusted that my body knew what to do and how to do it. My body contains all the DNA of my ancestors who’ve birthed children before me and so I can also do it.
It was one of the hardest things I had to do..but it was worth it. Birth was a lesson in persistence, surrender, trust, support...and I never want to go through it again.
Each birth is different and a learning experience and opportunity. What did you learn form your births? Leave a message below.
Do you have fears surrounding giving birth? Give us a call 613-446-6060
Little L is 18 months old and scared of the noises that come from the furnace in the basement. He will play quietly and alone with his toys until the furnace comes on. Once it does, he will drop whatever he’s doing, run over to you and become glued to you or ask to be picked up. After the furnace comes on, he will want you to be a maximum of 1 foot away from him where you could have been in the same room as him before and he would not have minded.
We have told him many times that the noise is the furnace and we’ve brought him over to show him the furnace and he still runs whenever it comes on.
One morning, when we were playing, the furnace came on and he came running over to me again. I did what I usually do, held him and told him that Mommy’s here. This time I added something new. I looked at him and said, today, we’re going to practice courage. I know you won’t understand this right now, but one day you will. There will be things that scare us in life and sometimes we will run away and that will be ok. Running can even save your life. Other times, when your life isn’t in danger, you will stand and stay put despite wanting to run away.
I figure that if I repeat this to him enough times, one day, he may understand. We then walked over, together to the furnace (while it was on) and practiced courage.
FEAR: forget everything and run or FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE
You choose. 613-761-1600
Life often gives us the lessons that we most need to learn.
One of the most challenging things about having young children is a lack of sleep. For the first few months, infants are up every few hours to nurse/ feed. After that, some babies start to sleep longer and others do not.
Some figure it out after a few months and for others, it could takes years. Each child is unique, just like each adult. New parents are often asked, does your baby sleep through the night yet? If your child does not and you’re tired, overworked and grumpy, this is not a question you’d like to hear. You also don’t want to hear about children who have been sleeping through the night from the beginning….unicorn babies.
My child was not a good sleeper...from the beginning. I had ‘my way’ of wanting to do things and I was adamant about it….so much so that it was hard to admit that what I was doing was not working. I.e. I was not getting much sleep. My partner had a different way of wanting to do things and it was not until we were pregnant with our second child that I conceded and we tried his way.
I was stubborn and still am but in life, sometimes you have to pivot and do things the opposite of what you have been doing all along. There were tantrums from both myself and my child at the beginning but in a couple short weeks, our little guy had finally consistently slept through the night.
How often do we fight for the way we do things when what we actually need to do is pivot and explore other alternatives?
Give us a call if you are currently trying something that isn’t working and would like to pivot. 613-761-1600
In Turning Setbacks into Comebacks- Part 1, I told my story about how I turned what was supposed to be a major business setback into a comeback. I also talked about what I learned from the experiences. In Part 2 of this article, I’m going to go through the precise steps and questions that I asked myself to make my come back.
Firstly, when we experience what we consider to be a setback, whether in business, health, relationships, finances, etc. we want to examine our expectations of the situation.
Where our expectations realistic? I often have people coming into the office with health challenges and having unrealistic expectations of how long it will take to heal. If you come into the office with poor posture, it did not get there overnight. Poor posture is built over years and years of abusing your body and neglect. It will not take a couple of visits for your to straighten up.
Look at the last time you had a setback in an aspect of your life. Did you have realistic expectations of the situation. Hint: probably not. If not, what was the reality of the situation?
Next, we want to examine the setback further. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Whether you decide to call it quits or make a comeback, the experience will have taught lots of life lessons. Appreciate what you learned and take this new version of you into your next adventure.
Need some help with this? 613-761-1600
Before practicing here at the Hampton Wellness Centre, I was at another location. I had put in a lot of energy and effort to build a practice there and what seemed like overnight, it was gone. I was crushed. How could something that I worked so long and hard for, be gone in a flash?
At the time, I felt lost, embarrassed and I didn’t know what to do. I admittedly sulked at home for a bit and wanted to hide under a pillow for a while. Luckily, I have great support from family, friends, colleagues and mentors who encouraged me and helped me to pick myself back up.
Within 1 month, I was back up and running and I have not looked back since. What seemed like a setback at a time was really an opportunity. Yes, I had to rebuild my practice. Yes, it was still a challenge. However, there were lots of learning experiences that I took from it that will serve me in the long run.
Some of those are:
Want to find out the skills I used? Stayed tuned next week for the second part of Turning Setbacks into Comebacks.
Come to one of our workshops 613-761-1600
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.