Life is made up of a series of moments. If you miss the moments, you will miss your life.
While we may not consciously remember every moment of each and every day of our lives, there are some moments that stand out that we will never forget.
A defining moment is a moment in time that creates and defines a change within you. It’s a moment where you consciously decide something about who you are and what you represent. It’s when you make a statement to the universe that this is or is not you.
Some such moments could be a time that you stood up for yourself. In that moment, you made a statement that you would no longer tolerate the treatment that you have received and that something needs to change. You decided that you and your feelings matter and that you deserved to be heard.
Another moment could be the moment you decide that you are a survivor and not a victim. You are going to fight whatever health challenge that comes your way and that you are not going to be a victim to your circumstance. In that moment, you decided to choose courage.
The moments don’t have to be something big either. It could be a moment when you were in a rush to do something and instead, you chose to take care of the needs of a human in front of you. You decided that that person was more important to you than a thing.
In every moment, we are making decisions about who we are and what we stand for. Make a list of 5 moments that changed your life and who you were in an instant. If you feel like sharing, please do so below.
“Your days are your life in miniature. As you live your hours, so you create your years. As you live your days, so you craft your life. What you do today is actually creating your future. The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the food you eat and the actions you take are defining your destiny- shaping who you are becoming and what your life will stand for. Small choices lead to giant consequences- over time. There's no such thing as an unimportant day.” -Robin Sharma
Are your days busy and filled with appointments and to-do lists? If they were anything like mine were, then there’s not much room for anything else.
I used to have most of my days planned from the moment I wake up (washroom, make lunch, meditate, journal, gym, work, cook, bed etc.) to when I go to sleep at night. At some point, I started to get tired and bored of my same old routine.
It wasn’t until I wrote my own eulogy (come to our advanced workshop on writing your eulogy) that I realized that I didn’t have any room for fun, spontaneity, and miracles in my life. These were important values to me and I had left no where in my schedule for them. How could they occur if there was no time for them?
From then on, I decided to re-arrange my schedule. Instead of a to-do list that was a mile long, I would pick 1 priority task for the day. If I got my 1 priority done accomplished, I would feel like I had made progress. I also made sure to do that priority early in the morning so the rest of the day wasn't spent worrying about it.
I started to place the people I interacted with ahead of the tasks that I wanted to do. Whereas before I was thinking about a clock and what I had to do next, I was now listening for times when I could have more fun or connect more with someone in a conversation.
Make a list of all the important things in your life i.e. your family, relationships, your career, fun, your health, etc. Do you schedule these into your day? Do you leave opportunities for miracles to happen in your day?
Leave your experiences below.
I recently had the experience of throwing a temper tantrum which allowed me to observe myself and laugh.
I was mowing the lawn and I have allergies to grass. This is often frustrating as I would mow then sneeze, continue mowing and sneezing, trying at the same time not to run over the lawn mower cord and then getting frustrated and trying to mow faster so I could stop sneezing sooner. I’m sure my neighbours find it comical to watch me when I cut the lawn.
On this one occasion, the weather was hot outside and I was sweating. My sneezing was very frequent and I had managed on several occasions to get the cord tangled...and then I had it. I threw my arms in the air and exclaimed that I was never going to mow the lawn again. I stomped off into the house and got some water and came back out.
After cooling down a bit, I continued to do the lawn and was left with a tangled mess of a cord. After finishing, I opened my garage door, put away the lawn mower and threw the tangled mess of a cord on the floor. I texted my husband and told him that there was a tangled cord on the garage floor when he got home and he was not to ask questions about it but to put it away...
I wanted to throw the lawn mower over the fence and just get rid of it...too bad it’s quite heavy.
After calming down (again), I was able to laugh at myself. I had just had a temper tantrum. I realised also that I was blaming an inanimate object for my situation. How is it that my lawn mower could be responsible for my allergies to grass?
When you’re mind is in an overly emotional state, you don’t always make the best choices. Another lesson, I was looking for something (lawn mower) to blame for my situation.
Do you ever find yourself reacting emotionally and then laughing? Comment below and let me know.
If you’re like me, when things seem “good”, you want to slow down time and when things are “bad”, you want time to speed up.
I noticed this over the weekend. I was invited to give 2 presentations at a retreat, one in French and one in English. As I am not as comfortable speaking in French as in English, I tend to dwell on it and wish that I could finish my presentation sooner....to "get it over with". This also happens when I’m sick...I wish I can fast forward over my discomfort until I’m well again.
What I realized in trying to fast forward time, is that I was also fast forwarding aspects of my life. At what point will I actually enjoy the time? If I am only waiting until the end to see the outcome then I would have spent my whole life with my thoughts on my future. I decided to shift my perspective of time.
I decided I was going to enjoy every moment leading up to my French presentation and be present during it. If I had the thought of wanting to fast forward something, I would wish to slow it down even more. I decided I wanted to know every moment whether it was comfortable or not.
The pain I had in my neck. I want to explore it further. I no longer wanted to wish it away. Instead, I wanted to be friends with it and learn why it was there.
After spending an entire day trying to enjoy and slow down time, I was amazed at how quickly it passed by. I guess that’s how life is, if you don’t enjoy the moments, they just pass you by.
Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
A few weeks ago, I was sick with a cold and cough. During this time, my sinuses were so congested that I lost my ability to smell and hence and taste food. It was an interesting experience to eat and not to taste food. It was a good reminder of not appreciating what you have until you’ve lost it.
Think about the time when you sprain an ankle, rib or even toe. You don’t realise how often your body uses a part of itself until it’s injured. Whenever I’ve hurt my ribs, I am reminded of what joy it is to breathe fully and deeply without pain and how I take that for granted.
When I lost my sense of smell, I was able to observe both the good and bad of it. I missed the foods that I loved to eat and I enjoyed that I wasn’t able to smell the gross stinky stuff that I didn’t like. But with that, I also realised that life is a reflection of this. If I go through my life numb, perhaps I wouldn’t get hurt as much or feel the pains and aches. I would also miss out on the joys and the laughter and all the other emotions.
The worst times in life often are followed by the best. The worst breakups have lead to further understanding of who I am and what I stand for. It’s lead to strength through rising up or being picked up by friends and starting again.
Appreciate both the good and the bad times. Buckle up on the roller coaster of life and have fun screaming on the way down! Bring your friends with you and enjoy in the experience together.
It’s easy to say “everything happens for a reason”, “when one door closes, another opens” or “the universe is waiting for the right timing”....after the fact. But how do you believe this during a stressful event?
I still have not figured it out fully, however, after a stressful series of events yesterday, looking back and in the moment, I was able to see where I was guided.
I had to take my car in because it was making “funny noises”. As my regular place could not take me, I had gone to another place. I received a phone call to say that my car had a problem that would cost $600 to fix. For most people, this unexpected cost would elicit a stressful reaction, as it did in me.
Just before I was going to tell them to go ahead and fix the problem, a voice inside my head said, call the dealership. So, I asked the garage to wait and that I would get back to them. I called my dealership and the part turned out to still be under warrenty so I was spared!
When I went back to pick up my car to drop off at my dealership, I had asked someone to meet me so I could get a ride. When I arrived to pick up my car, it was not put back together yet and I had to wait. I was trying to get a hold of my ride who was already on the way and the phone rang and rang...she was driving of course and couldn’t pick up. I decided to send a thought (“telepathic”) message to come back to get me. I also prayed that she would hear the phone ringing many times and know something was wrong. And she did!
At the same time, I had called my husband to tell him what was going on with the car and that I would not have my car for 2 days. It just so happened, he was in the area because he had dropped off his boss at the airport when his boss’s taxi did not arrive! My husband was able to meet me at the dealership.
Everything had worked out the way it was supposed to. It was stressful at the time and I was able to follow my hunches. Looking back, I could see that I was guided throughout the process. The right people were in the right place at the exact moment I needed them to be.
My car is now fixed and I had great learning opportunity in trust.
Have you ever quit something too early? Perhaps you started a new diet and were not seeing the results that you wanted as quickly as you wanted to, so you stopped. Maybe you started a business and quit before you were profitable.
How do you know if it’s time to quit or rest?
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and feel like there’s too much on your plate, your decision making energy is at a low. When you’re trying to make a choice in regards to something important in your life i.e. job, relationships, career, health, etc. you want to considering being in an energy rich state.
You will not reach the energy rich state you need to be in to make good decisions from a worn out place. The first thing you need to do is rest.
Take time for yourself. Nap, sleep, take care of your health and well being. When you feel fully refreshed, then it’s time to decide if you should continue down your current path or if it’s time to quit.
Far too often, we quit when the going gets tough when what we really need is to rest.
In business, it is said that it takes 5 years in order to be profitable. It you kept quitting every time you got tired, you would never see the results of your labour. For dieting, it takes about a month to get into a routine and then there’s a matter of sustainability after that.
When you first get started out in a venture, take into account that the usual time frame is to see results. Do not compare yourself with the best case scenario. Instead, prepare for the worst case and schedule time to take frequent rests in between.
If you’re in a great state and you find it’s find to quit. Celebrate what you have learn in your journey and leave with grace.
Want to learn more about yourself? Come to one of our monthly workshops. RSVP 613-761-1600
Your pain in your shoulder, back, neck, relationships, finances, etc, is not the problem. Pain is only the manifestation of the problem.
Imagine you had low back pain for 6 months and you came into my office. You’ve had pain for 6 months, why did you decide at that moment to make the call to come in? You were already dealing with the discomfort for so long. The answer isn’t because of the pain.
Perhaps your low back pain prevented you from going to work and making a living. Maybe you couldn’t play with your grandchild anymore. For others, the pain keeps them from being intimate with their partners. The majority of the time, it is a quality of life issue that forces us to make the call to do something about the pain.
Ask yourself, what is this pain keeping me from doing?
To take it a step further, not only do we want to know the quality of life issue that brought you into our office, we also want to know, what emotions are behind the pain.
Are you frustrated that you got hurt? Are you sad that you are still sick? Are you fed-up with work and need a change in your life? Do you keep attracting the same type of people in your relationships? Are you behind on filing your taxes?
Once we know what you are really searching for and the emotions that you are experiencing, we can better help you in taking the action steps required to help you achieve your goals.
Need help figuring yourself out? 613-761-1600
A patient came into my office after having seen a car accident happen that shook her. She had been traumatised by it and noticed that she kept playing the scene over and over again in her head for the next week. Each time she re-watched it, she noticed that her jaw would tense up and her shoulders and neck muscles would tighten.
Her body had gotten frozen in time due to what she had witnessed. Because she replayed the event many times, her body didn’t have enough time to unfreeze itself. She also started to hardwire the event into her nervous system.
Together, we tried a strategy to unfreeze her body.
When you watch a bad movie that you don’t like, do you keep watching it over and over again? No, you put on a different movie! SO, when you replay a bad event over and over again, we have to change the movie.
This technique helped me get over some of my childhood fears of scary movies. When I was younger, I used to have bad dreams after watching anything scary in a movie. When it was time for bed, I used to turn out the light and take a running jump onto my bed so that the monsters did not get me at night. This is how I changed it….
Note that this is for simple cases of trauma. If a serious trauma occurred for you, please seek professional help.
Want to go through this exercise with someone? Let me know at your next visit.
If you had been following our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/neurooptimization/) for the month of February, you may have noticed that we had tips each day on how you can appreciate yourself.
By popular request, here is the full list.
We are usually so busy taking care of others that we forget to look after ourselves.
Jan 31- To celebrate Appreciate Yourself Month we are releasing tips each day in Feb to help you love and appreciate you! #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 1- Take 5 mins to sit and breathe
Breath is essential to life. How often do you take time to sit and be with you. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Do this for 5 minutes. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 2- List 3 things you are grateful for
When we focus on expands. Focus on what you are grateful for and you will get more of it. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 3- Try something new today
When you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got. Try something new and add novelty to your life. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 4- Spend time with someone you love
You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone. Is there someone special in your life that you love and appreciate? Spend some extra time with them. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 5- Give yourself a hug
Hugs are healing, soothing and comforting. Wrap your arms around you and give yourself a great big hug. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 6- Do something nice for a stranger
The best way to feel good is to do something nice for someone who’s not expecting it. Watch their face and see how they light up when you’ve surprised them. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 7- Give yourself a compliment
We tend to say negative things to ourselves. Today, we switch that around...look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey there, hot stuff” or “You are amazing! Get out there and change the world!” #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 8- Hydrate yourself, drink water
Your body is mostly made up of water. Make sure you stay hydrated by drinking enough. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 9- Nourish your body with healthy food
You are what you eat. Your body breaks down the food you put in your mouth and creates cells. What are you made up of? #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 10- Move your body
If you don’t move it, you lose it. If you retrain it, you can regain it. Are you feeling stiff? Are there parts of you in pain? Have you lost your flexibility? The answer is in movement. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 11- No complaining day
Today we’re going to observe how often we complain throughout the day. Change your focus and you change your life. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 12- Go screen free
Have you been spending too much time glued to your cellphone, computer or ipad? Take a break from technology for a day and go screen free. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 13- Connect with nature
With all the new technology, we spend less and less time outdoors with nature. To better connect with yourself, go outside and experience the fresh air and energy of the earth. #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 14- Tell someone you love them
Sometimes we are in such a hurry doing things, we forget to tell those that we care about how we feel about them. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 15- Treat yourself to something nice
Here are some ideas: massage, spa, nap, bubble bath, book, etc. Treats to do have to be expensive. My favourite weekend treat is a nap. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 16- Forgive someone
Have you been holding onto a grudge for a long time? Perhaps the person you are upset with has already passed on, moved away or forgotten. Holding on to grudges hurts you. Let go. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 17- Forgive yourself for something
Do you watch a movie that you hate over and over again? Why would you replay a bad event in your life over and over? #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 18- Celebrate a win
Take time to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Even if it’s a little step. The little steps add up to big steps. Little wins to big wins. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 19- Reconnect with a friend
Is there someone that you lost contact with? Have you just gotten too busy to keep in touch? It’s time to say hi again. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 20- Review your goals
Did you make any new year’s resolutions? It’s time to check in with them to see your progress. Didn’t make any? Start now. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 21- Make finances your friend
Do not be scared of your finances. Knowledge + action is power. Find out how you are doing. If it’s good, see how it can get better. If you need help, find someone. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 22- Invest in your future
Have you planned for your future or that of your families? #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 23- Register for a course
It’s never too late to learn something new! When you learn, you brain make connections in a way they have not before. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 24- Start a journal
A journal is a place where you can sort out your thoughts, notice your patterns and it makes a cost effective psychologist. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 25- Write a letter to your younger self
If you could go back in time and visit your younger self, what would you have told them? #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 26- Sing your favourite song
Music is therapeutic. Sing with some friends, sing by yourself in your car or in the shower. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 27- Dance
Dance like no one’s watching. It’s fun. Come on, give it a try. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
February 28- Visit your neuro chiropractor
It’s your last day! Congrats! You made it. I’m so proud of you. Let me give you a high five in person. #loveyourself #appreciateyoumonth #neurooptimization
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.