Life often gives us the lessons that we most need to learn.
One of the most challenging things about having young children is a lack of sleep. For the first few months, infants are up every few hours to nurse/ feed. After that, some babies start to sleep longer and others do not.
Some figure it out after a few months and for others, it could takes years. Each child is unique, just like each adult. New parents are often asked, does your baby sleep through the night yet? If your child does not and you’re tired, overworked and grumpy, this is not a question you’d like to hear. You also don’t want to hear about children who have been sleeping through the night from the beginning….unicorn babies.
My child was not a good sleeper...from the beginning. I had ‘my way’ of wanting to do things and I was adamant about it….so much so that it was hard to admit that what I was doing was not working. I.e. I was not getting much sleep. My partner had a different way of wanting to do things and it was not until we were pregnant with our second child that I conceded and we tried his way.
I was stubborn and still am but in life, sometimes you have to pivot and do things the opposite of what you have been doing all along. There were tantrums from both myself and my child at the beginning but in a couple short weeks, our little guy had finally consistently slept through the night.
How often do we fight for the way we do things when what we actually need to do is pivot and explore other alternatives?
Give us a call if you are currently trying something that isn’t working and would like to pivot. 613-761-1600
In Turning Setbacks into Comebacks- Part 1, I told my story about how I turned what was supposed to be a major business setback into a comeback. I also talked about what I learned from the experiences. In Part 2 of this article, I’m going to go through the precise steps and questions that I asked myself to make my come back.
Firstly, when we experience what we consider to be a setback, whether in business, health, relationships, finances, etc. we want to examine our expectations of the situation.
Where our expectations realistic? I often have people coming into the office with health challenges and having unrealistic expectations of how long it will take to heal. If you come into the office with poor posture, it did not get there overnight. Poor posture is built over years and years of abusing your body and neglect. It will not take a couple of visits for your to straighten up.
Look at the last time you had a setback in an aspect of your life. Did you have realistic expectations of the situation. Hint: probably not. If not, what was the reality of the situation?
Next, we want to examine the setback further. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Whether you decide to call it quits or make a comeback, the experience will have taught lots of life lessons. Appreciate what you learned and take this new version of you into your next adventure.
Need some help with this? 613-761-1600
Before practicing here at the Hampton Wellness Centre, I was at another location. I had put in a lot of energy and effort to build a practice there and what seemed like overnight, it was gone. I was crushed. How could something that I worked so long and hard for, be gone in a flash?
At the time, I felt lost, embarrassed and I didn’t know what to do. I admittedly sulked at home for a bit and wanted to hide under a pillow for a while. Luckily, I have great support from family, friends, colleagues and mentors who encouraged me and helped me to pick myself back up.
Within 1 month, I was back up and running and I have not looked back since. What seemed like a setback at a time was really an opportunity. Yes, I had to rebuild my practice. Yes, it was still a challenge. However, there were lots of learning experiences that I took from it that will serve me in the long run.
Some of those are:
Want to find out the skills I used? Stayed tuned next week for the second part of Turning Setbacks into Comebacks.
Come to one of our workshops 613-761-1600
A few weeks back, I wrote a blog about getting rid of things and the meaning we have attached to what we are trying to get rid of.
This past weekend, I was inspired to clean out old baby clothes. What I learned was that I had more emotional attachment to my baby’s clothes than I had expected.
As I started to go through the boxes, I would see the outfits and memories would come back from when he was wearing those clothes. From his first outfit coming home to his first swim to what he wore the day he turned 1. As I started to go through the boxes, it got harder and harder to give things away!
I even thought about the article that I wrote about how hard it was to give things away! So, I had to come up with a plan that worked for me because the clothes had to go.
For the clothes that were easy to purge, I donated them to a neighbourhood family. For those that were more difficult, I gave them to a good friend. For me, having them go to a child that I can see make new memories, allows me to let go of them more easily.
How do you give away things that you have attachments to? Share your tips in the comments below.
Curious about what we do here? Give us a call 613-761-7600
Some people create goals or resolutions and then forget about them. How can they come true if they aren’t in your consciousness?
Remember that success and failure are both choices. In fact, they are made up of many choices along our way. We don’t become overweight because of one bad food choice. We become overweight by many poor choices, repeated over again.
You need to choose to take action on your goals. Over and over again until you achieve your desired results.
Here are some ways to keep your goals at the top of your mind
The more you put your goals in the forefront of your mind, the easier it will be to manifest them. What are some things you do?
Due to our different life experiences, we have all come to our own unique ways in which we see the world. In our personal relationships, wouldn’t it be important to know how you and your partner experience love?
My partner and I took this test (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/) which gave us an idea on what we value and what acts of kindness mean love to us.
For him, words of affirmation were meaningful to him, whereas for myself, acts of service.
With words of affirmation:
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
With acts of service:
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
You can read more of the other communication styles through the link posted above.
What I learned was to tell my partner more often in words, how important he is to me. Once I learned to verbalize my appreciation more, our communication improved. I learned that I was doing acts of service for him and was getting frustrated that they were not appreciated as much as I would have if they were done for me. This caused me to be frustrated.
This was a great lesson on how the same experience can mean something different to someone else. Take the love languages quiz. What do you value?
The more I observe my child, the more life lessons I learn.
My child loves to swim and splash around in water. He goes to weekly lessons and due to the holidays, they were cancelled so we decided to take him swimming on our own.
In order for us to do this, we had to put him down a little earlier for his nap….he did not like this one bit. He fought and fought and fought and after an hour, finally fell asleep. Luckily, we were still able to fit swimming in when he woke up.
Now, what did I learn from this?
What are some life lessons that your children have taught you? Comment below.
They say that growth happens when you get outside of your comfort zones. One way to grow is to challenge your fears and put yourself in situations that make you a little (or alot) uncomfortable so that you can stretch.
If you fear public speaking, you could challenge that fear. Scared of heights? Keep putting yourself in higher and higher (but still safe) areas. You can also grow by having the difficult or uncomfortable discussions with others.
When dealing with people who have different values, life experiences and beliefs than you, it can be easy to find situations where you get uncomfortable. You can pause and recognize a discussion as an opportunity for growth or you can run away and avoid them all together.
Unfortunately, most people tend to avoid being uncomfortable. Lucky for me, I’m working on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I had to have an uncomfortable discussion with my husband a while back and I was able to observe by body’s reactions to this situation. Once I knew I had to talk to him, I could feel my heart beating faster, hands getting clammy...in short I was observing my body kick into fight or flight. At the same time, I could tell that my body was reacting not only to the present moment but to something in the past. Once I realized that, I took deep breaths and calmed myself down. When I heard the garage door open, my heart skipped a beat. Again, I had to calm myself.
When I actually got out what I had to say, it wasn’t as bad as I had built it up to be! It never is! We resolved the issue and made things even better than before.
Whatever conversations it is that you find hard, whether they be finances, health issues, relationships issues, or just telling someone bad news….take it as an opportunity to grow. In the end, the waiting to talk is usually worse than the actual conversation itself.
Go out there and have those uncomfortable conversations and each time you have one, remember that you are growing a little more.
In search of a supportive community? Come to our monthly workshops. 613-761-1600
Why is it that we have such a hard time letting go of things? Whether it’s an old friendship, a relationship that no longer works, a pair of old jeans that you haven’t worn since high school, a business that is failing, etc. We have a hard time letting go because we have attached a part of our identity to that which we are letting go of.
Our identity is made up of our personality, our life experiences, the people we interact with, etc. Some parts of our identity we are aware of and others, we are not. If you’ve attached a part of you to something, it’s hard to let yourself go.
So, what can you do. Examine why you are having trouble letting go. Take a pair of old shoes for instance with holes in them that you don’t wear anymore. Ask yourself what part of you is in your shoes. Is it the pair of shoes that you wore to win a big game? Did you spend an entire summer playing in them and having fun? Perhaps you have attached winning, play and fun to your shoes….no wonder why you don’t want to get rid of them!
Once you are aware of your attachments, you can remember the good times or the emotions and then let the physical item go.
Practice going around your house and looking at items that you never use anymore. This works especially well for clothes. See why you still have them, remember the good memories and then get rid of your new item. Observe how you feel. You will notice that as you remove old things from your life, you will feel lighter and more free.
Let me know how this activity goes! 613-761-1600
The November workshop was titled Overcoming Fear. Normally, when I do my monthly workshops, I usually think of them ahead of time. I create powerpoint presentations and review the content that I am presenting the day of the workshop. I like to be prepared.
One of my fears when public speaking is wondering what would happen if I had nothing to say. To circumvent this fear, I prepare ahead of time, so there’s always something to say. Now, I have been in practice for over 10 years so I no longer have to read my slides, however, I still like them there...in case.
I decided to take my workshop as an opportunity to practice overcoming a fear….so, deep breath….I decided not prepare for the workshop. I was going to wing it and see how it went.
By Monday, the day of the workshop, I was second guessing my decision...what will I say, what will they say? But, since I had a busy day, I couldn’t create a presentation even if I wanted to.
Fast forward to 6pm. 15 minutes before the presentation. The front desk staff are preparing for the workshop and they start to set up the computer and chairs. I let them know that there will be no presentation today and to put the chairs in a circle instead of their usual configuration. They smile and say, that’s different. I respond, yes, it is. I did not create a presentation today.
Fast forward to 6:15pm when workshop participants begin to arrive. This is new, Dr. Amanda. I smile and respond, yes it is. From there, we proceed to talk and discuss about our fears and how to overcome them and everything turns out great, as it always does.
I challenged my fear and won. What did you do this week to challenge a fear of yours?
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.