It has been 1 month since I became a parent. It’s also been 1 month since I’ve been on a continuous roller coaster ride. I thought I had a concept of what it would be like to be a parent and that our lives would change but I did not have the knowing of it in my nervous system.
The first week, I learned what extraordinary things my body was capable of...labour, birth, producing milk for baby. Things it innately knew how to do and had programmed within it but it had never done before.
Emotionally, my heart expanded even bigger to include another human. It was a sleepless week of joy, wonder and learning.
At week 2, my husband went back to work and I had to learn (the hard way) what I had attached my identity to. What I did not know before baby Lincoln was how much freedom/ independence I experienced until I didn’t have it anymore.
When I wanted to leave the house before, it took me 5 minutes. If wanted to go to the store, I would go. If I wanted to visit a friend, see a movie, go out for dinner, I could...and now, going out required another level of planning.
Our first outing was supposed to be to the store to get Halloween candy for trick or treater’s...by the time I changed him, fed him, changed him again, got ready myself...we made it as far as the car seat when I gave up on going out.
The next day, we fared a little better. We made it to our appointment...late. I am never late to my appointments. Ever. I also made the mistake of not feeding Lincoln before we got back in the car so he cried all the way home. I was driving and couldn’t feed him so I cried with him while I drove. Welcome to parenthood.
As the weeks passed, we are learning more about each other and how to travel as a unit. Things have been getting better, as they often do, with practice.
Being a parent is hard. It’s also amazing and lonely (3am feedings). It can make you feel like a failure, or a superhero. You can go crazy, have the patience of a saint or be impatient. It can bring out the best version of you and the worst. It is a dichotomy and so is life. Hang on to the roller coaster and enjoy the ride!
To all the parents out there, you are not alone and you are superheros!
To my earth angels aka family, friends, strangers who have stopped in to help, thank you from the bottom of our hearts! It really does take a village to raise a child...and to help out their mother.
Discipline is often seen as boring. We are doing the same habits over and over again. The secret is that discipline can actually lead to freedom.
For example, when we tend to have too much time on our hands (no discipline), we waste it because we get bored and need to think about what to do with our time.
Decision fatigue is when you get tired from making too many decision at a time. For instance, what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. What to wear for work, who to call, which route you take to drive to wherever you are going, etc. By the end of your day, you have no more energy because you’ve been making too many decisions.
A way to counteract this is to decrease the number of decisions you make in a day and allow your brain to focus on more important things. Instill discipline into your day so you think about smaller things, less. CEO’s like Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, wear the same clothing (jeans and a black t-shirt) every day to work so he doesn’t have to think about what to wear. If you cultivate discipline in planning your meals ahead of time, scheduling your gym routine, taking care of your health, getting your clothes ready, taking the same route to work, etc. Your brain could save energy for things that are more important to you. This is freedom of mind!
If you are looking for freedom from sickness and poor health. What discipline would be required? Would you pre-determine your foods, workouts, doctor’s appointments, take preventative health measures?
To gain financial freedom, would you have the discipline to put aside money, to invest, to not buy the extra starbucks coffee?
Discipline sets you free!!
How do you instill discipline into your life? Leave a comment below.
We are all investors. We choose where, what, with whom, to invest our TIME.
Time is our most precious commodity. Each one of us has the same amount of time each day to choose what we want to invest in.
Time is the big equalizer because we all have the same amount in a day. No one is more special each day that they can have more of it than another.
Your vocation, or work, is a place where you invest lots of your hours. Here are some questions to determine if you’re getting a good return on your investment.
These questions can also be asked of other things that require a large investment of your time. I.e. relationships, projects, new business, etc.
Whatever you are doing, make sure that you are getting a good return on investment for your most valuable asset.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” ― Hunter S. Thompson
Nearing the end of my pregnancy I noticed a shift in perspective. Whereas I was once avoiding or not wanting to feel the physical pain of it, I am now embracing it. This is because my perspective has shifted in regards to pain.
Now, I’m embracing pain. This is because I know it will get me closer to my goal (meeting my baby). It goes without saying that birth can be a somewhat painful process for most people. So, as one gets closer to the process, a certain amount of surrender to pain needs to occur.
With each cramp, each painful movement, each strain, etc. it brings me closer to my goal. Shifting from fear to change means accepting what’s to come and welcoming growth.
Stage 5 in SRI (book: 12 stages of healing) is about merging beyond the illusion. The illusion is a wall or something created by your mind. You need to go through the illusion to embrace what’s on the other side. The illusion that my mind created was that pain is separate from growth whereas, the reality is that pain is a part of it. This isn’t just in childbirth. It occurs throughout life.
Is there pain when starting a new exercise regimen after not working out for a while? Is there pain in making a commitment to improve your diet when you need to give up a lot of what you’ve been eating before? Is there pain when ending a relationship or job for the opportunities of a new one?
Pain is not separate from life. It is a part of it. When we embrace it, learn through it and grow, we shift from fear to change.
Need a shift in perspective? Come to one of our monthly workshops.
What kind of life do you want to live? A normal life or an extraordinary life? To live a normal life, you need to think, feel and take actions on things that normal people do. However, if you want extraordinary, or to create something new or to do something that’s never been done before, then you need to reject normal.
What is normal these days? In Canada, the average Canadian is in financial debt, the divorce rate is over 50% and cancer and heart disease account for a large portion of health related deaths in Canada. Do we really want what is normal?
Let’s look at the way people currently take care of their health. They don’t exercise and move their bodies enough, eat poorly and don’t take preventative measures for their body. People are tired, overworked, stressed out and getting sick.
Eventually, if these poor habits are drawn out over time, chronic illness occurs. That is the new normal. What can you do to change this ‘normal’ future for yourself and your family?
Do what others do not do. Go and move your body, even if you have to get up earlier. Study nutrition and make the best food choices you can for you and your family. Seek help before you need help. Do the things that others do not do and you will have the life that others do not have.
Are your relationships in trouble? Turn off the tv, get off your phone, spend quality time with those you love. Make your relationship with others more important in your schedule than everything else. Focus on extraordinary relationships and that is what you will end up with.
To get what others do not have, you must do what other do not do. Others around you may try to convince you to be like them, but if you don’t like where that takes you, you need to be aware of that. Get a community of support people who you do want to be like and have them help you to novitiate.
Change can happen in a instant...committed change takes time. This is why we have our monthly workshops. We learn, grow and support each other along the process.
Comment below on what you do that is “not considered” as normal.
That’s it! You’re frustrated with your body. It’s not healing at the rate you want it to. You’ve had a cough or cold for 3 weeks now….andyou're sick and tire of being sick.
This had been my reality for the past couple week and I was fed up. I even started saying to myself “how come my body can’t heal? Why is this happening to me? And then I get upset at my body….after a few minutes, I discovered that this line of thinking wasn’t helping. So this is what I did….
I ask different questions to contradict what my mind was telling me. Instead, I asked “what are recent examples of my body healing?” Then I remembered that I pulled a muscle and it was much better, the bruise on my shin is nearly gone and the scrape on my elbow is healed. How can I say that my body is not healing when clearly, it is?
This allowed me to see that my mind was playing tricks on me. My body is in fact healing! It simply needs more time or more sleep, or help in the form of supplements, herbal remedies etc,
The trick is to find evidence that contradicts what your mind is telling you.
If your mind is telling you, having a bigger house, nicer car, making more money, etc will make you happy. Ask yourself the reasons for why this may not be true. If I had a bigger house...what I be happier? Well, personally, it may mean more grass to cut, a bigger mortgage, more rooms to clean, etc. That would not make me happy at all.
If my mind said that being in any relationship would make me happy. I would ask, how many people are unhappy in relationships. It's got to be a good relationship for me and sometimes, that takes patience and time.
Before you want what someone else has because you think it will bring you happiness, ask yourself if it really will.
Practice this technique of questioning your mind and let me know how it goes.
Each morning, when you walk out the front door and go into the world, remember who you are.
One trick for me is that on my way to the front door, I have a mantra that I say. “Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better”. I repeat that a few times as I’m putting on my shoes, gathering up my bags and opening the door.
Sometimes, I may do a variation of it, if there’s something I’m looking to focus on during the day. It always starts with “Every day, in every way….” then I fill in the blank:
This mantra reminds me that things in life aren’t permanent and that I can change and improve them.
When you leave your house knowing, who you are, what you stand for, what your purpose is, it makes decisions that come up in the day easier. For instance, someone asks something from you and if it’s within who you are, you may say yes. If it goes against your moral code, you will probably say no. However, if you aren’t sure who you are, you may end up saying yes to something you don’t want to.
This is especially important to remind your kids when they leave. Tell them as they walk out the door, to remember who they are. If they don’t know, they can easily be swayed by their friends and peer pressured.
When you walk out the door tomorrow, remember who you are.
Too often, we’re trying to “find time” to fit things in. How often have you said to yourself that you have to find time to take care of your health, kids, etc.? Instead of trying to find time, schedule the time into your schedule. What gets scheduled, gets done!
If something such as your health is truly important to you, you will make the time for it. It becomes a must. Schedule your gym times like your do your other appointments (like your chiropractic appointments haha).
Every Monday morning from 8-10am is my “getting stuff done for the office” time. It’s blocked off in my agenda and that is when I write my blogs, work on my files for the office, prep newsletters, etc. If I need more time, there is a block on Tues morning for spillover activities.
Put your important tasks, events, etc into your schedule and then you don’t have to stress about making time for them.
Now...if your schedule is overfull already, that’s a different challenge :) That is a sign of priorities. If you’ve got a to-do list a mile long, you will have to decide first, what are your priorities. From there, look at your task list and ask yourself “which task, if I accomplish today, will allow me to feel like I had a successful day? Then start with that task. Get it out of the way.
Need help with priorities? Come to one of our complimentary monthly workshops!
In what areas of your life do you have standards? Even if you aren’t aware, you have them in all areas: finances, health, relationships, work, etc. Sometimes, we are aware of our standards and other times, not.
How do you know when you have dropped one of your standards? One clue is that you get upset with yourself. You may think “I should have known better, or I knew I shouldn’t have done that”. Let’s say you are at school and you enjoy math. Your standard is to get a B or higher on each test. For one test, you drop your standard, stay up late playing video games and don’t study for the test and end up with a D. What would you probably do next time? Raise your standard back up again. When you drop your standards, notice and be aware of it, learn from it and raise them back up again.
Observe, what areas in your life have the highest standards? Are you always on top of your finances? Do you exercise regularly, eat well and take preventative measure for your health? Is it your kids and family that you invest your time in most? The areas where you have the highest standards are also areas that you deem priorities in your life.
The quality of your life is determined by the stands you set for yourself. What are you willing or not willing to accept or tolerate?
You also teach other people how to treat you by what you allow, don’t stop from happening and what you stand for. What are your standards for how others treat you? Do you speak up when something nice is not said or do you let it go?
What are your own standards for treating yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you make time to take care or are you the last on your list?
Examine the standards in your life and if you don’t like the levels, raise them!
What is neuro-optimization?
Neuro- means having to do with the nervous system
Optimization- make better or more efficient, improve upon
Neuro-optimization is a process by which the body creates a better or more efficient nervous system. Your nervous system is like a computer and the master controller of your body. It sends and receives information to every cell, organ and tissue in your body.
Why would we need to improve upon our nervous system? The body is constantly seeking to adapt to change. When we cut our hand, our body locates the injury and starts to heal. When we get a cold or cough, the body also moves towards healing. So, how is it that sometimes, it seems like it takes our body forever to heal from something? Perhaps we’ve had low back pain for what seems likes years or a chronic illness that simply won’t go away? Long term conditions that seem to never go away mean that the nervous system is prevented from getting the correct signals to the necessary areas in order for healing to occur...there is a disturbance within the force.
What are some factors that decrease the ability of our nervous system to function optimally?
How is neuro-optimization achieved?
Want to find out more? Come to one of our advanced workshops!
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.