The disease to please is running rampant in our culture and has lead to people feeling angry, depressed, undervalued and overworked.
Here are some symptoms of the disease:
For some people, the need to please can extend as far back as they can remember. I know that to be the case for me. As a child, I thought, if I did everything for everyone then more people would like me. I associated being a good child with doing things for others, even at the expense of myself.
So once you know you have the disease to please, what do you do next?
My first step was to take a 1 week break from outside requests. What this meant was, if I was e-mailed something or verbally asked to do something, I would respond, “I am currently taking on too many requests at the moment. If in a week, you still need help, I can re-evaluate your request at that time.”
After a week, I had a better idea of what I was able and willing to help with and what I really didn’t want to do. Each request that came in, I would hold off on answering for a specific period of time, to give myself a chance to see how I really felt about it. If I received a request via e-mail. I would take an extra half a day to get back to the person. If it was in person, in my head, I would say “pause” and check in with myself.
Today, when a request comes in, I am able to check in to see if I am capable. If not, I learned that it’s ok to say no.
Practice taking your “request pause” and let me know how it goes.
For more information and tips, come to one of our complimentary workshops.
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.