Why is it that we have such a hard time letting go of things? Whether it’s an old friendship, a relationship that no longer works, a pair of old jeans that you haven’t worn since high school, a business that is failing, etc. We have a hard time letting go because we have attached a part of our identity to that which we are letting go of.
Our identity is made up of our personality, our life experiences, the people we interact with, etc. Some parts of our identity we are aware of and others, we are not. If you’ve attached a part of you to something, it’s hard to let yourself go.
So, what can you do. Examine why you are having trouble letting go. Take a pair of old shoes for instance with holes in them that you don’t wear anymore. Ask yourself what part of you is in your shoes. Is it the pair of shoes that you wore to win a big game? Did you spend an entire summer playing in them and having fun? Perhaps you have attached winning, play and fun to your shoes….no wonder why you don’t want to get rid of them!
Once you are aware of your attachments, you can remember the good times or the emotions and then let the physical item go.
Practice going around your house and looking at items that you never use anymore. This works especially well for clothes. See why you still have them, remember the good memories and then get rid of your new item. Observe how you feel. You will notice that as you remove old things from your life, you will feel lighter and more free.
Let me know how this activity goes! 613-761-1600
After the initial stage of care, we begin to move into a stretch. This is not simply a physical stretch that you do like when you are doing your daily exercises, although the physical stretch does play a role.
I’m often asked why we don’t start off the initial stage of care with a stretch. The reason being, when most people come into the office, their body is experiencing a lot of tension; physically, emotionally and mentally. If we stretch the tissues of the body that already have tension placed on them, what would happen? Similar to stretching the strings of a guitar past their tension point, they would snap and injury could occur. Stretching is initialised later on in care, after the nervous system has a chance to calm down and the body is no longer under high tension.
Physically, the stretch reduces tension in our body, builds greater flexibility, etc. We know lots of the physical reasons why we stretch. However, that is not the main goal of our the stretch in care.
In this level of care, we stretch a person’s spine and in turn their nervous system to allow them to have a more appropriate behvaiour through awareness of their emotions and range of emotions.
Emotions are experienced differently in our nervous system, depending on if the energy is more feminine or more masculine. This does not have to do with males or females. We all have both feminine and masculine energy within us. Depending on the situation, we can express our energy as more feminine or more masculine and have different results. Some people also have more of one energy type in their genetic make up than the other.
In individuals with more feminine energy, the stretch allows them to get ready to take action after feeling an emotion. Have you heard the expression, ‘it’s all talk’? Well, the purpose of an emotion is to get you to take an action. Anger is good, if it allows you to do something about it. But what do a lot of people do instead? They talk about it and then they release the energy before they take action on it. If you got angry and then stood up for yourself or for someone else, the energy of anger was for you to speak your voice. If you got angry and talked to your friend about how angry you were but nothing changed in your life, then there was a missed opportunity. Now, I’m not saying all actions are good, i.e. getting angry and then hitting someone, only that emotions allow you to take actions.
In individuals with more masculine energy, it allows them to increase the number of emotions they experience i.e. their range of emotions, in order to change their behaviour. If you only experienced 2 motions: good and bad, then everything that happened to you would cause the reaction of good or bad. What if we introduced, loved and sadness? Then you would be able to change your reaction/ behaviour based on which emotion you felt. If when it’s bad, wouldn’t it be good to know if it was bad vs sad? Yes, because it would lead to a different behaviour. Love, satisfied, fulfilled, those emotions would lead to better responses in your body and nervous system and in turn your life.
Want to increase your range of emotion or take action towards change? Give us a call 613-761-1600
We were all born with certain senses: smell, taste, touch, sight, hearing... that we develop through our years. When one sense is compromised, i.e. you lose the ability to hear, your other senses will become heightened and more aware. This is both to make up for the lost sense and also because you practice using the other senses more when you lose one of them.
Even if you temporarily lose part of your senses i.e. you are walking around in your dark house at night, you will notice that you hear noises better.
Why would we want to develop our senses further? The main reason for our senses is to keep us alive and to help us navigate the world. In the animal Kingdom, their senses are honed to help them find food, shelter, water, etc.
Here are some ways that you can practice developing your senses further without losing them.
Have more ways to hone your senses? Write them below!
The November workshop was titled Overcoming Fear. Normally, when I do my monthly workshops, I usually think of them ahead of time. I create powerpoint presentations and review the content that I am presenting the day of the workshop. I like to be prepared.
One of my fears when public speaking is wondering what would happen if I had nothing to say. To circumvent this fear, I prepare ahead of time, so there’s always something to say. Now, I have been in practice for over 10 years so I no longer have to read my slides, however, I still like them there...in case.
I decided to take my workshop as an opportunity to practice overcoming a fear….so, deep breath….I decided not prepare for the workshop. I was going to wing it and see how it went.
By Monday, the day of the workshop, I was second guessing my decision...what will I say, what will they say? But, since I had a busy day, I couldn’t create a presentation even if I wanted to.
Fast forward to 6pm. 15 minutes before the presentation. The front desk staff are preparing for the workshop and they start to set up the computer and chairs. I let them know that there will be no presentation today and to put the chairs in a circle instead of their usual configuration. They smile and say, that’s different. I respond, yes, it is. I did not create a presentation today.
Fast forward to 6:15pm when workshop participants begin to arrive. This is new, Dr. Amanda. I smile and respond, yes it is. From there, we proceed to talk and discuss about our fears and how to overcome them and everything turns out great, as it always does.
I challenged my fear and won. What did you do this week to challenge a fear of yours?
I was about a week away from Clear Day (a bi-annual, small group retreat experience that I run) and there was only 1 person registered. This was very unusual. Faced with the possibility of cancelling my first Clear Day ever, I checked in with myself and sent out a prayer to the universe.
I asked myself, is this something you created i.e. is it in your heart to want to do clear day? What came back was, until I asked, I had been on the fence. It takes a lot of time, commitment, planning, time away from family...however, it’s the best time to go in depth with my patients and for us all to experience community and support. As I was contemplating this, a voice from deep within said, do clear day and here is your theme: Blessings!
I answered back to the voice: I’m not doing clear day for 1 person. The voice said, send out your prayer to the universe. So, I turned to the universe and said: I need at least 4 people to go ahead with what I have planned for clear day.
When I went to work the next day, I mentioned to one of my staff, that I only had 1 person registered and how odd it was. She responded, no, you should have more as I took payment from others. I asked where the information was kept. It turns out she had put it in another file. I was up to 3 people. The magic continued to work and by the end of the day, my entire clear day was FULL!!!!! Not only had a surpassed by goal of 4 people, I had gone far beyond and sold out my clear day!
Wow, what an amazing and responding response form the universe. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And from that experience, I also figured out a workshop for my clear day.
Ask and you shall receive.
In October, my son had his first birthday. For him, I created a letter time capsule. I got our family and friends to each write him a letter of advice for him to open up when he turns 18.
Here is part of the advice I gave. Please feel free to add more if you think of it.
Happy 18th Birthday! Mommy loves you so much!
My father in law is a professor at the University of Ottawa and is nearing the end of his teaching career...my suggestion was that he teach until my baby reaches university but he did not think this was practical...haha.
His birthday happened to fall on a day where he had a night class so we decided to surprise him by bringing our son to watch him teach. Since it was a night class, we had both worked all day and it was a rush home to get there in time. My husband even wondered if perhaps we should go on another day as we were busy, we’d keep the baby up past his bedtime, we didn’t have parking downtown, we hadn’t eaten yet and we were already running late by the time I got home.
But, I was determined that we go so off we went. Baby L was crying in the car the entire way, we encountered traffic and sure enough, it took us 20 mins to find parking and then we had to walk to the class. Needless to say, there were several times where I wondered if this was a good decision….but we persisted on.
We showed up to class (late) and surprised him and boy was he surprised! It was a short visit as we had interrupted his class and then we were off to go back home.
The next day, we got a phone call from Dad and he was so happy that we made the visit. He said it was a moment he would remember for the rest of his life. What an honour it was to be able to do something so meaningful for someone. For us, we showed up to say happy birthday, for him, it meant much more.
You never know the impact you will have with one random or not so random act of kindness. So be kind, do nice things for others and you never know how it can affect someone.
When was your last random act of kindness? Comment below.
We all want to feel that we are important, appreciated and that we matter in some way to this world. While we may want to feel appreciated, what allows us to actually feel it?
Because we all have different life experiences, hurts, cultures and circumstances, our nervous systems are uniquely wired to fit us. What may cause one of us pain may cause another one of us joy.
If we want to feel appreciated, how important would it be to know how we feel appreciation? Or receive appreciation? Super important! Because others might be trying to let us know that they appreciate us but we aren’t receiving the message.
My husband and I have different communication styles for love and appreciation. For him, his nervous system prefers that you tell him in words. I appreciate you, I love you, you matter to me and you are important.
For myself, my nervous system is more attuned to behaviours and actions. I.e. my husband brings dinner home after a long day or work so we don’t have to cook, he let me sleep in by looking after the baby, etc.
Knowing how each of our nervous systems is programmed is helpful because while I may do lots of actions to show my husband that I care, he may not interpret it that way without my also telling him.
Check in with yourself. What do you need to feel loved? Actions, thoughts, behaviours, words? Observe how you communicate to others in different relationships.
Write below what you observed!
Most often, we wait for special occasions to give thanks. Perhaps it’s around a holiday such as Thanksgiving or Christmas, however, giving thanks is something to be practiced all year round.
The more you notice that you are grateful for, the more things you will have to be grateful for.
Why should we be grateful? Research studies have shown that gratitude improves your health. People had less depression, lower blood pressure, more energy and greater optimism when they were grateful. Another research team found that positive emotions such as appreciation significantly lowered levels of cortisol...a hormone often related to stress.
For about a year, it was a practice of mine to write down 3 things every morning that I am grateful for. I think it’s time for me to go back to this.
Here are some other ideas on ways to give thanks
Write below what you are grateful for in your life!
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If you’ve been a long term patient of mine, you will notice that I get excited for you when you are in pain. It’s not because I enjoy watching others in pain or suffering, it’s because I see pain as an opportunity for you to change your life in some way….that is why, pain, is a terrible thing to waste.
What does pain tell us? Pain tells us 3 things: 1. Stop 2. Pay Attention 3. Do something different
Stop could mean something as simple as stopping what you are doing that is causing the pain. For instance, lifting things that are too heavy or lifting with pour posture. Most often, when we think of stopping something, we take it to mean something physical. Since we are not just physical beings, we need to consider stopping something emotional or mental as well. Are you having an argument with someone or holding on to past hurts in your body? Are your thoughts to yourself gentle and kind or do you treat yourself harshly?
This is an opportunity to examine how you got to where you are now. Have you been dropping your standards in one place? Have you stopped exercising, eating well, etc and weakened your body and immune system so that you are more prone to getting hurt?
Have you been upset or frustrated about something lately and have simply let it build instead of addressing it and now it’s affecting your health and your life?
Pay attention to the events, physical, emotional and mental that have been leading up to where you are now. Have you been really busy running around and now that you’ve twisted your ankle, you finally need to stop, rest and take care of yourself.
Assess where you are now and what life is trying to tell you with your pain. Do you have sciatica aka a pain in the butt and there are people in your life that are literally being a pain in the butt to you?
Do Something Different
If you keep doing the same things over and over again, you’ll keep getting the same results that you’ve always gotten. One of the reasons that people get the same pains again is because the same patterns of behaviour are the same.
To get different results, you need to do something different….physically, emotionally and mentally.
Need help figuring out what you’re pain is trying to tell you? Give us a call 613-761-1600
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.