Releasing My Caged Heart

This week's blog comes to you from Jacqueline Lawrence who is a best selling author.  

I did not know that every thought and experience is imprinted on my spine. That was my first lesson with Dr. Amanda. During one of our first meetings, two years ago, she took me on one of the most fascinating journeys of my life, making pit stops on my spine’s highway, with questions such as: What happened when you were eight? What was happening why you felt lonely around 12? What shifted at 16? 

My second lesson with Dr. Amanda occurred after my first entrainment session. In just 15 minutes, I discovered I did not have to live with back and knee pain, that had brought me to her, for the rest of my life.

Perhaps the greatest lesson Dr. Amanda has taught me is the importance of tuning into and listening to my body. As a former athlete, and, as one raised to keep calm and carry on no matter what life throws at you, I was trained to live with pain. It was through my work with Dr. Amanda, that I discovered that pain carries a message or a gift to help release what is b lo c k in g m e f ro m livi n g wholeheartedly. This discovery has helped me to release tensions and anxieties around pleasing people at the expense of my soul; release playing small, especially in situations where there are disagreements and conflict; and releasing the need to prove my worth through performance and perfection. 

There are three significant areas where I have transformed my life and awaken to new possibilities. I have a new relationship with rest. I now sleep six to eight hours instead of three to four hours. I also negotiated with my body to work a maximum of 4-5 hours of overtime per week, and no work on the weekends unless there is a valid exception. I also have a new relationship with my breath. Shallow, gasping breath has been replaced with deep breathing that travels the length of my spine. As well, at a moment’s notice, I can now direct my breath to those parts of my body that need it the most to release whatever no longer serves me. Thirdly, I have a new confidence in the possibility of living fully my heart’s desire. Recently, my heart told me: 

“I live in a caged wall of bones. Freely. You live with caged wings. Mindlessly. I know my heart was giving me my next release assignment with Dr. Amanda. I know this phase will take me to depths I have never gone before to feel what I feel, to embrace my vulnerabilities as strength, and, to speak my truth like never before. Here is the first step on my new journey. 

Soul Speaks 

Separated, splintered, 
Shamed, scarred, scared to be seen I suffer in silence, 
Struggling to scrape through stormy days 
Searching for, seeking shelter 
Sacrificing soul for success 

Survival screams for stillness 
Sadness shares scars 
Slowly, sipping soothing silence 
Spirit speaks softly, Spirit to Spirit 
Surrender, surrender, surrender it all 
Suckle the sweetness of significance


You can find her poetry and writing in her book, Pebbles in the Pond, Wave Three.