It has been 1 month since I became a parent. It’s also been 1 month since I’ve been on a continuous roller coaster ride. I thought I had a concept of what it would be like to be a parent and that our lives would change but I did not have the knowing of it in my nervous system.
The first week, I learned what extraordinary things my body was capable of...labour, birth, producing milk for baby. Things it innately knew how to do and had programmed within it but it had never done before.
Emotionally, my heart expanded even bigger to include another human. It was a sleepless week of joy, wonder and learning.
At week 2, my husband went back to work and I had to learn (the hard way) what I had attached my identity to. What I did not know before baby Lincoln was how much freedom/ independence I experienced until I didn’t have it anymore.
When I wanted to leave the house before, it took me 5 minutes. If wanted to go to the store, I would go. If I wanted to visit a friend, see a movie, go out for dinner, I could...and now, going out required another level of planning.
Our first outing was supposed to be to the store to get Halloween candy for trick or treater’s...by the time I changed him, fed him, changed him again, got ready myself...we made it as far as the car seat when I gave up on going out.
The next day, we fared a little better. We made it to our appointment...late. I am never late to my appointments. Ever. I also made the mistake of not feeding Lincoln before we got back in the car so he cried all the way home. I was driving and couldn’t feed him so I cried with him while I drove. Welcome to parenthood.
As the weeks passed, we are learning more about each other and how to travel as a unit. Things have been getting better, as they often do, with practice.
Being a parent is hard. It’s also amazing and lonely (3am feedings). It can make you feel like a failure, or a superhero. You can go crazy, have the patience of a saint or be impatient. It can bring out the best version of you and the worst. It is a dichotomy and so is life. Hang on to the roller coaster and enjoy the ride!
To all the parents out there, you are not alone and you are superheros!
To my earth angels aka family, friends, strangers who have stopped in to help, thank you from the bottom of our hearts! It really does take a village to raise a child...and to help out their mother.
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.