You are unique. There is no one in the world who has had the same set of circumstances as you. Even twins don’t have the same life experiences as each other. If we are all unique, why do we spend so much time trying to fit in?
Fitting in is engrained into our DNA. If we go back to hunter gatherer times, in order to hunt for food and survive, we would have to work in groups. Alone, you would not be able to chase down and kill your food, nor look after your family, cook, gather nuts and seeds, etc.
If you were someone who got kicked out of your group, you would not make it alone on your own. Since those hunter gatherer times, we’ve been learning these lessons of trying to please others who are in charge and to do what others day in order to survive.
The challenge is that we’ve given up our individual uniqueness in order to survive and fit in. So how do we reconcile our uniqueness and at the same time, being able to contribute and be a part of a community?
The answer lies in your goals. Are you looking for surviving or to thrive in life? Actions that are required for instances of survival are different than in thriving.
Let’s take medicine for example. Let’s say you needed life saving open heart surgery, the surgeons would not hesitate to crack open your chest and ribs in order to save you. The actions would be more extreme than usual. This would be to save your life.
In survival, fear in involved. Fear of losing something or not having something. This would cause you to do different actions vs in thriving mode. In thriving, we are searching for more. To be more, do more, to explore more about ourselves.
Once you have your basic elements for survival, i.e. food, a place to live, etc. You can start to explore of your uniqueness and what it takes to thrive.
There is room for both survival and growth. We need to adapt to what is needed for the time.
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization in Ottawa, Canada.