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Teaching Courage

6/30/2019

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Little L is 18 months old and scared of the noises that come from the furnace in the basement.  He will play quietly and alone with his toys until the furnace comes on. Once it does, he will drop whatever he’s doing, run over to you and become glued to you or ask to be picked up.  After the furnace comes on, he will want you to be a maximum of 1 foot away from him where you could have been in the same room as him before and he would not have minded.
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We have told him many times that the noise is the furnace and we’ve brought him over to show him the furnace and he still runs whenever it comes on.  

One morning, when we were playing, the furnace came on and he came running over to me again.  I did what I usually do, held him and told him that Mommy’s here. This time I added something new.  I looked at him and said, today, we’re going to practice courage. I know you won’t understand this right now, but one day you will.  There will be things that scare us in life and sometimes we will run away and that will be ok. Running can even save your life. Other times, when your life isn’t in danger, you will stand and stay put despite wanting to run away.

I figure that if I repeat this to him enough times, one day, he may understand.  We then walked over, together to the furnace (while it was on) and practiced courage.  

FEAR: forget everything and run or FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE

You choose. 613-761-1600


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Realistic Optimism

6/26/2019

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Ever meet someone who’s always optimistic?  Even to the point that they can’t see any red lights going off in front of them?  And no matter what you say to them, they respond with the fact that the universe will provide for them….even though they don’t have enough money to feed themselves.  This is an instance where you can have too much of a good thing.

I’m also not saying that we need to be pessimistic about everything.  Also, I do believe that we have opportunities where we are provided for, however, we also do need to be realistic about our situations.  

This is where realistic optimism comes in.  It is the understanding that there is adversity in your life; be that in your relationships, finances, health, etc.  and at the same time, also being optimistic about what’s going on.

​That is to say that, you do have the power to change your circumstances.  And, if you’re really stuck and can’t change your exact circumstances this moments, you can change the way you think, look and feel about them so that you will take different actions that will lead to different outcomes later on.  


Would you like help seeing the brighter side of things and also getting past your roadblocks?  Give us a call 613-761-1600

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How Can you Change Someone's Behaviour

6/19/2019

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From the moment we meet someone, we are forming opinions on them based on our past and current experiences….even if we aren’t aware of it in the moment.  This is because our nervous system is geared towards keeping us alive. If something is dangerous, we must be ready to fight or flight.

We are often quick to label others and put them into different categories i.e. what their clothes say about them, what kind of work they do, if they have kids or not, if they are friendly, safe, intelligent, etc.  
Once we label someone, we tend to expect them to behave in a certain way and when they do, this further cements the label that you originally placed on them.  

So, one way we can change someone’s behaviour is by changing the label that we have for them.  Instead of labeling a child as being hyperactive, perhaps they are energetic. Instead of saying to someone that they are too sensitive, perhaps, they are empathic.  If someone daydreams often, it can be said that they have great imagination.

By changing the way we see someone, it gives them the opportunity to also see themselves in a different light.  

What labels do you hold on to that keep you down?  Throw away those that no longer serve you and change the meaning of your labels to a positive way.  Re-write the meaning of what it means to be skinny/fat, poor/rich, etc.

Need help?  Give us a call 613-761-1600

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What is your Quality of Questions?

6/9/2019

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Back in December of 2009, I attended a seminar put on by one of my mentors, Dr. Donald Epstein.  Here are some questions he asked us to ponder.  The answer we get will help shape the quality of our life.  Tony Robbins says that the quality of your life will depend on the quality of the questions that you ask.

Below is a talk by Dr. Epstein about asking different questions.

We seek answers because we believe with an answer, we’ll feel or be better.  In truth, every answer takes us further from joy.

Life isn’t defined by the answers, but the questions we ask.

Here are a series of questions.  For 30 days, read the questions. Don’t answer them.  Don’t listen to the answer you will get, for the one answering isn’t the one you want to answer.  The universe will create circumstances to create the person who can answer. Don’t look to solve these questions, they’re meant to be lived, not solved.

Questions:
  1. On who’s shoulders do I stand?  Who has sacrificed for me, for what I take for granted?  Professionally, personally, family, friends.​
  2. Whatever I have or possess, who has helped me and what has helped me to get it?  And who helped that person who helped me?
  3. Who will stand on my shoulders?  And who will stand on that person’s shoulders? Of what continuum am I a part?  Professionally, personally, family, friends.
  4. With whatever I achieve in life, who would I like to surpass me with my blessings, making what I accomplished seem small?
  5. How big is my circle of We?  How many others are in my We?  Professionally? Personally? Family?  Friends?
  6. Who really is my peer group?  With whom do I share ideas and dreams?  Profession wise? Personal wise? Family wise?  Who will I invite into my peer group?
  7. What does doing my own thing really mean?  Under what circumstances do I feel I want to do my own thing?  When doing my own thing. Am I in a higher or lower resourcefulness state? How is my triad of change different when I’m doing my own thing?  Is the me that wants to do my own thing the same me that wants to expand my circle of We? Which me is charting my destiny?
  8. When I throw something away, where is away?  Is there any such place as away? What do I really mean to say when I say “I threw it away?”
  9. What are the similarities and differences between throwing something away and doing my own thing?
  10. When I do my own thing, what am I not doing and what am I losing?
  11. How would I feel if on my tombstone, it said “Was an expert at doing his own thing.”
  12. What is the difference between being the best in the world versus being the best for the world?  How are these 2 different paths with different destinies? How do each of these paths support different questions and experiences?
  13. What must change now?  What change I dare not make will I make now?  What will happen to every answer above if it doesn’t change now? What is the benefit and feeling for myself and my circle of We if that change happens immediately?  How can the fundamental change of who I must be truly become the gift that keeps on giving?
  14. What is there’s not such thing as a journey?  What if the word journey was an excuse to create distance between who I was, who I am and who I must be?
  15. What if there was no such thing as an open or closed heart and I didn’t have to open my heart and I never closed it?  What if there was only practicing or participating with love in various degrees?

What were your experiences from doing this exercise?  Write them below.


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    Author

    Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization Chiropractic in Ottawa, Canada.

    Amanda Chan, EzineArticles Basic Author


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