Is your worth tied to your roles in life? Perhaps you pride yourself on being a lawyer, doctor or engineer. Maybe it’s tied to being a mother or father, sibling, child, spouse, etc. Make a list of the different roles you play on a weekly basis. Boss, employee, etc. Be aware of how much energy it takes to play these roles.
Next, ask yourself, what personality traits or characteristics are you attached to. Are you the nice one, smart one, funny one or the responsible one? Make a list of the labels you place on yourself and see how much energy it takes to be you.
Are you a people pleaser or a perfectionist? Do you seek validation through others? When you change who you are to fit in or to please someone else, it creates tension in your spine. Tension is created in you when you are not being true to who you really are. Illness occurs because you are not being who you are.
When you allow others to give you validation, you are also trying to control them in some way. You will cater to their needs and do what you think they would like, say what you think they want to hear and over time, lose who you are.
Being you is unique. There is no other like you in experiences, feelings, talents and contributions to the world. When you are pretending to be someone else, there's a stress and fear that you will eventually be found out. Keeping up this role requires lots of energy.
The bottom line to self worth is to remember who you are. If you have trouble remembering, call us for a free consultation.
Pain is a gift that holds great information. Pan tells you 3 things: 1. Stop 2. Pay attention 3. Do something different
Pain first tells you to stop what you are doing. Most people think that means something physical, which in some cases can be true. In the winter, I often see people who’ve “thrown out” their back while shoveling snow. We can look at the biomechanics by asking how much snow they lifting, how long they were shoveling and the technique they used. However, if we only looked at the physical aspects, we’d be missing out on a lot of gifts.
We are not only physical beings. We also have emotions and thoughts. When pain tells us to Stop, we need to also look at the emotions that we have. Taking our snow shovel example from above. I also want to ask him, what were you thinking about while you were shoveling? Did you say “I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job!” or perhaps it was, how come no one else is out here shoveling with me. Why am I the only one? How come it’s always up to me? Those emotions and thoughts along with the physical shoveling combined need to be examined.
2. Pay attention
Paying attention involves examining what is not working for you. Perhaps your pain gets worse when you’re under financial stress or at night when you’re thinking about your boss. What emotions do you experience on a weekly basis? Is it anger, resentment or frustration? What thought patterns do you have?
Have a look in the different areas in your life and see if there are any that aren’t working. Relationships, health, finances, work, etc.
3. Do something different
The definition of insanity is to do the same things over and over again and expect different results. Change your pattern in some way. The reason you have the same pain over and over again is because you’re repeating a pattern in your life again and again. The person with low back pain that has a pattern of coming home, lying on the couch and not moving and avoiding any movement, keeps the back pain. I can’t go hiking, I can’t go walking. If that same person were to go for a walk, exercise, change the way they ate, it would affect their pain.
Pain is a gift and an opportunity to change your life. Time to open your gift!
If you or someone you know could benefits from knowing more, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation where a consultation is simply a conversation in person or over the phone. 613-761-1600
Everyone that comes in for a consultation with me is unique. No two people have had the same upbringing, perspectives, feelings, past life events, etc. So, when someone says that their goal is to get better, I want to know: what does getting better mean to you?
Here are some responses I’ve heard:
What does getting worse mean?
For most people, it means that I’m still feeling that which I don’t want to feel and you are responsible for helping me get better. Getting worse means that I am more aware of that which I don’t like.
Now, what if, the pain was supposed to be there? What if your pain has a message for you?
You pain carries within it an opportunity. An opportunity to change your life in some way. Pain tells you to 1. Stop 2. Pay Attention 3. Do something different. If you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting the same results you’ve always gotten. Change the patterns in your life and your life changes.
Not sure what your pain is telling you? Call the office 613-761-1600 and schedule a complimentary consultation in office or over the phone.
There’s a flame that burns within each of us. The flame represents our passions, desires, our hopes and dreams.
As a child, the flame burns the brightest. Ask any child what they would like to be and they’ll have an interesting answer for you. Watch a child play and their imagination and creativity are endless. As a child starts to grow up and learns the rules of the culture and those around them, the flame burns a little less and can sometimes go out. This can be seen in people who have given up on life or those that feel beaten down, run down and depressed. They’ve been put down by the system, the culture and they feel that no one understands them.
But it doesn’t have to be the way!
The flame can be re-ignited again. Ask yourself, do you snuff out other people’s flames or do you fan them? Do you support and encourage people to follow their hearts and dreams or are you jealous when they do? Whenever something positive happens to another, are you blowing out their flame by saying something negative? Are you a positive influence to those around you?
Hang out with those who ignite your flame. Find people on the same road that you are travelling down. Instead of putting out your candle, turn your flame into a roaring fire. Shine in this world and share your gifts and talents.
Travel. Read. Write. Spend time in nature. Connect with your family and friends. Build communities. Inspire others and fan their flames. Help people. Make this world better than when you got there. And when you recognize another person on your path, help each other grow your fires.
Need help finding a community of dedicated individuals who support each other in reaching their goals, passions and dreams? Come to our complimentary monthly workshops.
The disease to please is running rampant in our culture and has lead to people feeling angry, depressed, undervalued and overworked.
Here are some symptoms of the disease:
For some people, the need to please can extend as far back as they can remember. I know that to be the case for me. As a child, I thought, if I did everything for everyone then more people would like me. I associated being a good child with doing things for others, even at the expense of myself.
So once you know you have the disease to please, what do you do next?
My first step was to take a 1 week break from outside requests. What this meant was, if I was e-mailed something or verbally asked to do something, I would respond, “I am currently taking on too many requests at the moment. If in a week, you still need help, I can re-evaluate your request at that time.”
After a week, I had a better idea of what I was able and willing to help with and what I really didn’t want to do. Each request that came in, I would hold off on answering for a specific period of time, to give myself a chance to see how I really felt about it. If I received a request via e-mail. I would take an extra half a day to get back to the person. If it was in person, in my head, I would say “pause” and check in with myself.
Today, when a request comes in, I am able to check in to see if I am capable. If not, I learned that it’s ok to say no.
Practice taking your “request pause” and let me know how it goes.
For more information and tips, come to one of our complimentary workshops.
Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization Chiropractic in Ottawa, Canada.