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Overcoming Fear

12/31/2018

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​The November workshop was titled Overcoming Fear.  Normally, when I do my monthly workshops, I usually think of them ahead of time.  I create powerpoint presentations and review the content that I am presenting the day of the workshop.  I like to be prepared.


One of my fears when public speaking is wondering what would happen if I had nothing to say.  To circumvent this fear, I prepare ahead of time, so there’s always something to say. Now, I have been in practice for over 10 years so I no longer have to read my slides, however, I still like them there...in case.

I decided to take my workshop as an opportunity to practice overcoming a fear….so, deep breath….I decided not prepare for the workshop.  I was going to wing it and see how it went.

By Monday, the day of the workshop, I was second guessing my decision...what will I say, what will they say? But, since I had a busy day, I couldn’t create a presentation even if I wanted to.

Fast forward to 6pm.  15 minutes before the presentation.  The front desk staff are preparing for the workshop and they start to set up the computer and chairs.  I let them know that there will be no presentation today and to put the chairs in a circle instead of their usual configuration.  They smile and say, that’s different. I respond, yes, it is. I did not create a presentation today.

Fast forward to 6:15pm when workshop participants begin to arrive.  This is new, Dr. Amanda. I smile and respond, yes it is. From there, we proceed to talk and discuss about our fears and how to overcome them and everything turns out great, as it always does.  

I challenged my fear and won. What did you do this week to challenge a fear of yours?

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A Prayer to the Universe

12/26/2018

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I was about a week away from Clear Day (a bi-annual, small group retreat experience that I run) and there was only 1 person registered.  This was very unusual. Faced with the possibility of cancelling my first Clear Day ever, I checked in with myself and sent out a prayer to the universe.

I asked myself, is this something you created i.e. is it in your heart to want to do clear day?  What came back was, until I asked, I had been on the fence. It takes a lot of time, commitment, planning, time away from family...however, it’s the best time to go in depth with my patients and for us all to experience community and support.  As I was contemplating this, a voice from deep within said, do clear day and here is your theme: Blessings!

I answered back to the voice: I’m not doing clear day for 1 person.  The voice said, send out your prayer to the universe. So, I turned to the universe and said: I need at least 4 people to go ahead with what I have planned for clear day.  

When I went to work the next day, I mentioned to one of my staff, that I only had 1 person registered and how odd it was.  She responded, no, you should have more as I took payment from others. I asked where the information was kept. It turns out she had put it in another file.  I was up to 3 people. The magic continued to work and by the end of the day, my entire clear day was FULL!!!!! Not only had a surpassed by goal of 4 people, I had gone far beyond and sold out my clear day!

Wow, what an amazing and responding response form the universe.  Thank you, thank you, thank you. And from that experience, I also figured out a workshop for my clear day.

Ask and you shall receive.

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A Letter to My Son

12/19/2018

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In October, my son had his first birthday.  For him, I created a letter time capsule. I got our family and friends to each write him a letter of advice for him to open up when he turns 18.

Here is part of the advice I gave.  Please feel free to add more if you think of it.

  • Firstly,  I want you to know that you are LOVED beyond measure.  If you are ever feeling down, remember that you are never alone and that you are always loved.
  • Trust your instincts and your gut.  You will know what’s right for you. Sometimes other voices try to drown out your gut but deep down, if you can listen to the whispering voice, you will hear it.
  • Practice compassion for yourself and for others.  Being nice doesn’t cost anything.
  • Travel when you can.  Explore new places. Go on adventures.  You will learn so much about yourself, life and others when you can see multiple viewpoints for others.
  • Life is about choices.  Nothing is “good” or “bad”.  You are in control of your choices, even if it may not seem that way at times.  
  • Exercise.  Your body was meant to move.  Move it often.
  • Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.  They are just learning opportunities.
  • Invest your money.  Put aside at least 10% (Daddy says 20%) of all your income and invest it.  Your future self you thank you later for it.
  • Ask for help when you need it.  It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.  Letting others help you is also a joy for them.  
  • Be courageous and do things that you are afraid to do.  Life is about growing out of your comfort zone.
  • You are always welcome home.  
  • Cultivate learning.  You will never be bored if you love to learn.
  • Keep up your love for reading.  
  • Take care of your health.  Eat well. Sleep lots. Exercise.  Love. Meditate.
  • Meditate.  It will help with your emotions.
  • See the good things in life.  They will get you through the other times.  I always believed that everything happens for a reason.  
  • Be yourself.  We love you for you.  Being someone else, over the long term will never lead to happiness because you have to give up part of who you are to be someone else.
  • Forgive.  Forgive others, forgive yourself.  You don’t get an unlimited time here on earth, don’t spend your precious moments hating or holding grudges.  
  • Practice gratitude.  You will always have something to be grateful for.  When I can’t think of something, I am always grateful that you are in my life.  
  • You are good enough!  Don’t ever let someone tell you that you are not.  
  • Set big dreams.  Shoot for the moon because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars
  • Take the road less travelled.  Read “The road less travelled” by Robert Frost.  Two roads diverged in the woods and I- I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

Happy 18th Birthday!  Mommy loves you so much!
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Make Someone Smile

12/12/2018

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My father in law is a professor at the University of Ottawa and is nearing the end of his teaching career...my suggestion was that he teach until my baby reaches university but he did not think this was practical...haha.

His birthday happened to fall on a day where he had a night class so we decided to surprise him by bringing our son to watch him teach.  Since it was a night class, we had both worked all day and it was a rush home to get there in time. My husband even wondered if perhaps we should go on another day as we were busy, we’d keep the baby up past his bedtime, we didn’t have parking downtown, we hadn’t eaten yet and we were already running late by the time I got home.  

But, I was determined that we go so off we went.  Baby L was crying in the car the entire way, we encountered traffic and sure enough, it took us 20 mins to find parking and then we had to walk to the class.  Needless to say, there were several times where I wondered if this was a good decision….but we persisted on.

We showed up to class (late) and surprised him and boy was he surprised!  It was a short visit as we had interrupted his class and then we were off to go back home.

The next day, we got a phone call from Dad and he was so happy that we made the visit.  He said it was a moment he would remember for the rest of his life. What an honour it was to be able to do something so meaningful for someone.  For us, we showed up to say happy birthday, for him, it meant much more.

You never know the impact you will have with one random or not so random act of kindness.  So be kind, do nice things for others and you never know how it can affect someone.

When was your last random act of kindness?  Comment below.

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How Do I Know I Matter?

12/5/2018

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We all want to feel that we are important, appreciated and that we matter in some way to this world.  While we may want to feel appreciated, what allows us to actually feel it?

Because we all have different life experiences, hurts, cultures and circumstances, our nervous systems are uniquely wired to fit us.  What may cause one of us pain may cause another one of us joy.

If we want to feel appreciated, how important would it be to know how we feel appreciation?  Or receive appreciation? Super important! Because others might be trying to let us know that they appreciate us but we aren’t receiving the message.

My husband and I have different communication styles for love and appreciation.  For him, his nervous system prefers that you tell him in words. I appreciate you, I love you, you matter to me and you are important.  

For myself, my nervous system is more attuned to behaviours and actions.  I.e. my husband brings dinner home after a long day or work so we don’t have to cook, he let me sleep in by looking after the baby, etc.  

Knowing how each of our nervous systems is programmed is helpful because while I may do lots of actions to show my husband that I care, he may not interpret it that way without my also telling him.    

Check in with yourself.  What do you need to feel loved?  Actions, thoughts, behaviours, words?  Observe how you communicate to others in different relationships.  

Write below what you observed!  

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    Author

    Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization Chiropractic in Ottawa, Canada.

    Amanda Chan, EzineArticles Basic Author


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