Infertility is a difficult, multi-layered and multi-faceted subject. There’s so many emotions that go along with it.
At first, people get excited at the prospect of being a parent. As the months turn into years, every time you get your period, you go down into a web of despair. The challenge isn’t with 1 single month of not being pregnant, it is with the months and months of disappointments that are piled up over time.
Recently, I’ve worked with several women about their emotions associated with infertility. Most commonly, people are angry because they feel that their body has failed them in some way. I often hear, "my body was designed to do this and now it’s not. I am so angry with my body. Why doesn’t my body work properly?" Then, somewhere along the way, not working properly is equated with not being of value. Sometimes, I hear, "I'm not good enough because I am not a mother. "
Others, play the “if only” game. If only we had tried sooner, if only I were younger, if only I ate better…. then I could get pregnant.
Many feel the disappointment not just for themselves or their spouse but that of their parents and family as well. This can be an extra burden for them to carry. Not only do they feel they are letting themselves down, but others as well.
When they hear that somebody is pregnant or see a pregnant person they wonder why can’t that be them. This can be really hard emotionally for somebody. Most often, people will react negatively towards learning that others are pregnant, leading to further isolation. It is not because they are not happy for the newly pregnant person but because they so badly want to be that person.
The above are only some of what a person is dealing with in regards to infertility. If these emotions stay in the body and are not fully processed, it can lead to discomfort and dis-ease later on in life. The emotions of what you are feeling need to be felt.
This is why I’ve also heard from several of my patients that they got pregnant after we worked to release their emotions and get rid of neuro abnormalities in their spine and nervous system. For those that did not get pregnant, they were able to let go of the emotional weight that they have been experiencing.
Either way, patients learned to surrender to what is. This is extremely hard. When you have had a single focus for years, tried everything you can think of, surrender seems like giving up.
When your mind is occupied with tracking cycles, fertility treatments, timing intimacy, eating a specific diet, it can be too much stress.
Feel and experience your emotions, accept the present moment and surrender to what is.
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Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization Chiropractic in Ottawa, Canada.