Fear Cuts Off Connection

Research has shown over and over again that what we seek most is a sense of belonging and connection to others.  People live longer when they have a sense of community and that they contribute and matter in some way.

So, why is it that we’re feeling so disconnected, alone and depressed when what we really want is to belong?  Fear.

Fear is what cuts off connection to others.  We fear what we do not understand. We fear people we don’t understand.  We first look for the differences in others before we look at what we have in common.  

What are we so afraid of?  Researcher Brene Brown says that we fear: being vulnerable, getting hurt, pain of disconnection, criticism and failure, conflict, not measuring up.  So, with all this fear, we move away from the very people that we want to connect with and wonder why we are lonely.

What’s the solution?  

One often meets his destiny on the road that he took to avoid it.  

All the things we fear must be faced.  We need to be vulnerable, even if it hurts, especially when it hurts.  

Embrace criticism so that we can improve and do better.  Teach others how to give criticism so that it’s positively accepted.

Celebrate failure because it means that we had the courage to try.  

Go into conflict with a goal of listening and finding a resolution.  

Above all, we need to see the communality in all of us and believe in love which is the power that unifies us all.

Want to be part of the solution?  Give us a call. 613-761-1600

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