I have had “people pleaser” disease as long as I can remember. The symptoms of this disease include always doing things for others, putting others first ahead of one’s own needs, trying to fit in, diminishing one’s self worth, putting others up on a pedestal, etc.
How is people pleaser disease or as I call it, the PP disease cured? We need to examine the root cause of why it’s present.
Growing up I always wanted to fit in but never really did. I wanted to be like the other kids in school. I wanted to wear clothes that were in fashion and I couldn’t because my Mom was a single mom, raising 2 children, going to school and working just to feed us. I wanted to eat the same foods for lunch that other kids got to and instead I got smelly Chinese food. I wanted to speak like the other kids did but I had to take ESL classes. I remember times in my childhood where I would wish to be like the other kids….but I never really was.
This desire to fit in, lead me to take actions to try to fit in. I would ‘do’ extra things for others in order to get recognized. As I began to receive more praise for ‘doing’ things to make others happy, I continued to do more of it. I even got a citizenship award in my grade school because I pleased/helped so many people. My value was attached to making people happy.
Somewhere along the way, as I grew older, I became aware that while I made alot of other people happy, I was not happy myself. Thus began my search to find out what makes me happy. I realised that I didn’t even know who I was because I was so busy being what others wanted me to be.
As I did more inner work, my outer world shifted. Funny how when you take a stance on something, the people and events that you attract into your life shift as well.
Curing PP disease does not mean that you stop doing things for others or stop thinking about others. It’s good to be able to put yourself in another’s shoes. It does mean that when you decide the actions you take, it’s because they align with who you are. The results may be the same, but you are not longer selling yourself out for it.
Do you need help with PP disease? Give our office a call. I am available for virtual consults and in-office consults. 613-446-6060. For more information about virtual treatments, Click HERE.
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Dr. Amanda is a non-traditional chiropractor who focuses on Neuro-Optimization Chiropractic in Ottawa, Canada.